pandemo (pandemo) wrote,

NCIS Gibb's Rules

Gibb's Rules

°°°°°°Ziva:  Just to be clear, are there any more of these rules I should be aware of?

°°°°°°Gibbs: About 50 of them.

°°°°°°Ziva:   And I don't suppose they're written down anywhere that I could—

°°°°°°Gibbs:  NO.

°°°°°°Ziva:   Then how am I supposed to—

°°°°°°Gibbs:  My job is to teach them to you.
°° °°°°°°(Season 3, Episode 5, Switch)
Inception of Gibb's Rules

°°°°°°Young Gibbs:  You’ve got a rule for everything?

°°°°°°Shannon:  Working on it.  Everyone needs a code they can live by.

°° °°°°°°(Season 6, Episode 4, Heartland)

#1.  Never let suspects stay together.

°°°°°°Gibbs (to Kate):  Rule number one:  Never let suspects stay together.

°° °°°°°°(Season 1, Episode 1, Yankee White)
#1  Never screw (over) your partner.

°°°°°°Gibbs:  Number one supersedes all of the others.

°°°°°°Jenny:  Never screw your partner?

°°°°°°Gibbs:  Never screw OVER your partner.

°° °°°°°°(Season 4, Episode 14, Blowback)

°°°°°°McGee tells Probie Dorneget about Gibbs Rules.

°° °°°°°°(Season 9, Episode 17, Need to Know)

#2.  Always wear gloves at a crime scene.

°°°°°°Gibbs: (to Kate):  Rule number two:  Always wear gloves at a crime scene.

°° °°°°°°(Season 1, Episode 1, Yankee White)

#3.  Don't believe what you're told.  Double check.

°°°°°°Gibbs:  Rule number three:  Don't believe what you're told; double check.

°°°°°°Kate:  Should I write these rules in my Palm Pilot or crochet them on pillows?

°° °°°°°°(Season 1, Episode 1, Deception)

#3.  Never be unreachable.

°°°°°°Ziva (after trying to reach McGee):  Rule number three...

°°°°°°Tony:  Never be unreachable.

°° °°°°°°(Season 3, Episode 13, Yankee White)

#4.  If you have a secret, the best thing is to keep it to yourself.  The second-best is to tell one other person, if you must.  There is no third best.

°°°°°°Jenny:  It's your fault you know.

°°°°°°Gibbs:  For what, leaving or coming back?

°°°°°°Jenny:  For teaching me your rules.  Best way to keep a secret: keep it to yourself.  Second best: tell one other person if you must.  There is no°third best. (walking away)  That's rule number four, isn't it?

°° °°°°°°(Season 4, Episode 14, Blowback)

#5.  You don't waste good.

°° °°°°°°(Season 8, Episode 22, Baltimore)

°° °°°°°°(Season 9, Episode 1, Nature of the Beast)

#6.  Never say you're sorry.  It's a sign of weakness.

°°°°°°Gibbs (to Kate):  Never say you're sorry. (laughing)  You don't have to crochet that one.

°° °°°°°°(Season 1, Episode 1, Yankee White)

°°°°°°Tony (to Gibbs): I broke rule #6.  Never say you're sorry.

°°°°°°Gibbs:  It was covered by rule #18.

°° °°°°°°(Season 7, Episode 12, Flesh & Blood)

#7.  Always be specific when you lie.

°°°°°°Gibbs (to Kate):  Rule number seven:  Always be specific when you lie.

°° °°°°°°(Season 1, Episode 23, Reveille)

#8.  Never take anything for granted.

°°°°°°Abby (to McGee):  Rule number eight is gonna save you, McGee!

°°°°°°Tony:   Never date a co-worker?

°°°°°°Ziva (to Tony):  Never go anywhere without your knife.

°°°°°°Tony  (to Ziva):  Thought that was nine.

°°°°°°Gibbs:  Never take anything for granted.

°°°°°°Abby  (to Gibbs):  Correct El Jefe.  But then again, you did make up the rules.

°° °°°°°°(Season 3, Episode 10, Probie)

°°°°°°Ziva:  I assume Gibbs would have checked that out last night.

°°°°°°Tony:  Rule number eight:  Never assume anything.

°°°°°°Ziva:  To be precise it's, ah, never take anything for granted.

°° °°°°°°(Season 3, Episode 17, Ravenous)

°°°°°°McGee:  I assume it involved a girl?

°°°°°°Tony:  He was nine years old.

°°°°°°Gibbs:  Never assume, McGee.

°°°°°°McGee:  Rule number eight.  Got it, boss.

°° °°°°°°(Season 9, Episode 21, Rekindled)

#9.  Never go anywhere without a knife.

°°°°°°Gibbs (while handing his knife to Tony):  Rule number nine:

°°°°°°Gibbs & Kate (in unison):  Never go anywhere without a knife.

°° °°°°°°(Season 1, Episode 13, One Shot, One Kill)

°°°°°°Tony:  Rule nine.

°°°°°°Atlas:  What?

°°°°°°Tony:  Ya know those rule they teach you guys in the Marine Corps.

°°°°°°Atlas:  What rules?

°°°°°°Tony:  Huh, I always suspected the fact that Gibbs was making that stuff up.  Well... rule nine is, ah (undoing his belt), never go anywhere (pulling out his knife) without a knife."

°° °°°°°°(Season 1, Episode 20, Missing)

°°°°°°Abby:  Rule #9  'Always keep a spare'.

°°°°°°Tony:  I thought Gibbs said nine was 'always carry a knife'.

°°°°°°Abby:  Not Gibb's rules…mine.

°° °°°°°°(Season 3, Episode 22, Jeopardy)

#10.  Never get personally involved in a case.

°°°°°°Gibbs:  You okay?

°°°°°°Tony:  Not really.  I broke rule number ten.  Again.  Never get personally involved in a case.

°°°°°°Gibbs:  Yeah.  That's the rule I've always had the most trouble with.

°° °°°°°°(Season 7, Episode 21, Obsession)

°°°°°°McGee tells Probie Dorneget rule #10 when he gets friendly with the model in custody.

°° °°°°°°(Season 9, Episode 17, Need to Know)

#11.  When the job is done, walk away.

°°°°°°Gibbs:  Rule number eleven, DiNozzo.

°°°°°°Tony:  I would never date a co-worker boss.  Trust me.  I mean, why would you even—that's twelve.  Eleven... when the job is done, you walk away.

°° °°°°°°(Season 6, Episode 24, Semper Fidelis)

#12.  Never date a coworker.

°°°°°°Kate (to Tony):  Not my style, Tony.  I would just shoot you.

°°°°°°Gibbs (just walking in):  That would be the reason for rule number twelve.

°°°°°°Kate:  Rule twelve?

°°°°°°Gibbs:  Never date a co-worker.

°° °°°°°°(Season 1, Episode 15, Enigma)

#13.  Never, ever involve lawyers.

°°°°°°Tony:  Which means you've been here one day and already broken Gibbs' rule number thirteen.

°°°°°°Dwayne:  Rule number thirteen?

°°°°°°Tony:  Yeah, rule number thirteen:  Never, ever involve lawyers.  Things are bound to turn nasty.

°° °°°°°°(Season 6, Episode 7, Collateral Damage)

#14.  Bend the line, don't break it.

°° °°°°°°(Season 11, Episode 4, Anonymous Was a Woman)

#15.  Always work as a team.

°°°°°°Jenny:  I heard your agents are pitted against each other.  Wasn't that Gibbs' rule number fifteen?  Always work as a team.

°°°°°°Gibbs:  Not on this one.

°° °°°°°°(Season 5, Episode 5, Leap of Faith)

#16.  If someone thinks they have the upper hand, break it.

°° °°°°°°(Season 8, Episode 24, Pyramid)

#18.  It's better to ask forgiveness than ask permission.

°°°°°°Jenny (to Gibbs):  Number eighteen:  It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.

°° °°°°°°(Season 3, Episode 4, Silver War)

#20.  Always look under

°°°°°°Bishop (to Tony and Gibbs):  Rule 20:  Always look under…

°° °°°°°°(Season 12, Episode 17, The Artful Dodger)

#22.  Never, ever interrupt Gibbs in interrogation.

°°°°°°Tony (to Ziva):  Rule number twenty-two:  Never, EVER bother Gibbs in interrogation.

°° °°°°°°(Season 4, Episode 10, Smoked)

#23.  Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live.

°°°°°°Kate (to Tony):  Maybe next time you should remember rule... twenty-three...

°°°°°°Marine (laughing):  Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live.
°° °°°°°°(Season 2, Episode 9, Forced Entry)

#27.  There are two ways to follow someone.

°° °°°°°°• 1st way - they never notice you;

°° °°°°°°• 2nd way - they only notice you.

°° °°°°°°(Season 7, Episode 15, Jack Knife)

°°°°°°(on a piece of paper in Jethro's home)

°° °°°°°°(Season 7, Episode 24, Rule Fifty-One)

#28.  If you need help, ask!

°°°°°°Ellie (to Gibbs):  You're asking me to talk about my feelings?

°°°°°°Gibbs (to Ellie):  Rule 28:  If you need help, ask!

°° °°°°°°(Season 13, Episode 10, Blood Brothers)

#35.  Always watch the watchers.

°°°°°°McGee (to Gibbs)  Boss he's a computer tech.  That means he could have hacked our servers and got Ducky's report.

°°°°°°Abby (to Gibbs)  How on earth did you...?

°°°°°°Gibbs (to both Abby and McGee)  Rule 35.

°°°°°°Abby and McGee (together)  Always watch the watchers.

°° °°°°°°(Season 8, Episode 22, Baltimore)

#36.  If it feels like you're being played, you probably are.

°° °°°°°°(Season 9, Episode 1, The Nature of the Beast)

#38.  Your case, your lead.

°°°°°°Gibbs (to Tony):  Your case, your lead.  I think it's a rule.

°° °°°°°°(Season 6, Episode 16, Bounce)

#39.  There is no such thing as a coincidence.

°°°°°°Katie:  One rule is missing; "There’s no such thing as a coincidence.”

°°°°°°Said (to Katie):   It's not missing; it's listed - rule #39.

°° °°°°°°(Season 7, Episode 21, Obsession)

#40.  If it seems like someone's out to get you, they are.

°°°°°°Gibbs (to Abby):  Rule forty.

°°°°°°Abby (to Gibbs):  If you think someone is out to get you, they are.

°° °°°°°°(Season 7, Episode 22, Borderland)

#42.  Don't ever accept an apology from someone that just sucker-punched you.

°°°°°°Gibbs (to Dr. Samantha Ryan): Yeah, well I got some rules of my own, too. Rule number 42.  Don't ever accept an apology from someone that just sucker-punched you.

°°°°°°Ryan:  I didn't apologize.

°° °°°°°°(Season 9, Episode 16, Psyched Out)

#44.  First things first; hide the women and children.

°°°°°°Gibbs (to Camila Charo to tell Mike Franks)Tell him Rule 44.

°° °°°°°°(Season 7, Episode 23, Patriot Down)

°°°°°°Shannon (to Gibbs):  Forty-four.  First things first; hide the women and children.  You're actually writing these down?"

°° °°°°°°(Season 7, Episode 24, Rule Fifty-One)

#45.  Clean up your messes.

°°°°°°Tony (to Gibbs):  Where are you gonna be?

°°°°°°Gibbs (to Tony):  At the mess I gotta clean up.

°°°°°°Tony (whispers to Ziva):  That's 45 ... basically.

°° °°°°°°(Season 7, Episode 24, Rule Fifty-One)

°°°°°°Tony (to Gibbs):  Rule 45 (and hangs up).

°°°°°°CIA Teague (to Tony):  What's Rule 45?

°°°°°°Tony (to CIA Teague):  Clean up your own mess.

°° °°°°°°(Season 13, Episode 1, Stop the Bleeding)

#51.  Sometimes you're wrong.

°°°°°°Gibbs (written after reminiscing about his wife and his rules)

°° °°°°°°(Season 7, Episode 24, Rule Fifty-One)

#62.  Leave room for someone exiting the elevator.

°°°°°°Gibbs: (to Abby)  Abby!

°°°°°°Abby: (to Gibbs)  Sorry Gibbs; I know rule 62 is to always give people space when they get off an elevator, but this is important; I don't wanna waste any time.

°° °°°°°°(Season 11, Episode 13, Double Back)

#69.  Never trust a woman who doesn't trust her man.

°°°°°°Gibbs (to Fornell about their mutual ex -wife)

°° °°°°°°(Season 9, Episode 7, Devil's Triangle)

#70  Keep digging until you hit bottom.

°°°°°°McGee (to Abby and Bishop) in the team room:  (Rule #70 implied, but not stated:)  Keep digging 'til you hit bottom.

°°°°°°Abby: McGee!  There is no rule 70!

°°°°°°McGee:  Well, I'm…

°°°°°°Abby:  You just made up a rule!

°°°°°°Gibbs (to McGee in the final scene):  Really?  Rule 70, McGee?

°° °°°°°°(Season 12, Episoed 5, The San Dominick)

Tags: tv quotation

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