pandemo (pandemo) wrote,
pandemo
pandemo

Extract from a Letter to My Brother (New Water Heater, Cats inside the Jacuzzi)



Last night, I woke up around midnight, thirsty. Barefoot, I trekked to the fridge for a sip of cold water. Cold water! On my FEET!

I must be dreaming! I think.

Pat, pat, pat the wall until I find the light switch. The half inch thick rug blocking the crack underneath the door to the unheated utility room is wet all along the hall side, but not the utility side.

Not the washer, then, I decide as I reflexively feel around both the drain and the intake hose.

Grabbing one of the large blue pails, I set to work with the sponge mop. With the bucket half full, I dumped it down the toilet. When I came back, the puddle was as big as ever, and increasing.

By 4 a.m., I gave up and fell into the bed, not surfacing until 8:20, when I called Clayton Plumbing and Heating, even before I weighed. (Still on the diet... drinking over 100 oz. of water a day...)

"I'm not sure if I have a heating problem or a plumbing problem. Water appears to be coming out of the furnace. Do I have water in my furnace, sort of a sauna effect, for any reason>"

After a quick consultation with one of the plumbers, who have all been out here repeatedly, the verdict comes back, "No. Is my water heater leaking?"

"Water heater?" I repeat stupidly. "Of course. It's behind the furnace."

"What brand?"

"I don't know. I've never seen it."

"They'll be right out."

(Time passes. Corydon is a 34 mile round trip from here. I weigh in, but am too upset to eat. I do not fill the water glass, either.)

The guys had to remove all the clothes and wall to wall waist high piles of horse magazines, the bottom one or two of which were wet... An access panel hid in the south corner. Behind it, sure enough, was a 17 year old leaky water heater. They assured me it had well exceeded its life expectancy (six years! Talk about built in obsolescence!)

At least the closet floor is tile, not carpet.

Hope you are entertained by this tale -- that's the only possible benefit I can see from it!

***
The denouement: New water heater, same size and brand as the original.

While one guy worked on the pipes to hook up the new water heater, the other one put a piece of tin and an entire sheet of insulation in the hole the two crooked legged, cross eyed, castrated tom cats were using (made last winter by the 'coon to house her litter) in their home invasions... Spelunker wound up in the master bedroom closet three times. I threatened to crate him on the front porch until dawn if he didn't cease and desist.

When he removed the access panel next to the sink, Spelunker was lying there, napping. He didn't know that one opened... A 1/4” velcro strip around the edges is NOT adequate to hold a panel in place... Wonder what it would take to upgrade it to be cat proof? Tin over the hole will hopefully make that an academic concern, not a practical one.
Tags: animal antics, daily life
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