My sister's sense of humor is something else. When I stayed with them last March after eye surgery, I bought two large Spinach and Mushroom pizzas, my favorites, and not available within a 100 mile round trip drive of my house.
I forgot them after a month of intense eye problems.
She didn't realize she had them -- they had to eat their way back down to them. She found just the perfect box in a hall, set out to throw away. It had six or eight sheets of bubble wrap inside, and a half inch foam border completely around it, so she laid the two large pizzas side by side, taped the lid, and mailed it on the coldest days she could find.
She got asked about her package, and said, "Yes, technically, she supposed it was perishable -- two large frozen pizzas."
The wind chill outside was -20 or 30 at the time, so they laughed. But, I live in SOUTHERN Iowa. Although our outside temps are cold, WE DO HEAT post offices and mail cars. (Up north, they have the driver in a small area and the mail in the unheated back...) Here, our guys use their personal cars, which heat the entire thing.
Two very thawed pizzas arrived in my door, being put up and down between the screen and the inside door in full sunlight under the protective roof. Generally, the mailman leaves packages outside on the bench, but I guess he thought the packaging would not deter the wild cat population for long.
When I opened the door, the box fell toward me, a stack of regular mail on top of it.
I put them in the fridge, as the package said not to refreeze once they'd thawed. I opened one at noon today. Instead of a circular pizza, it was flattened on every side into a trapezoid. I tried to cook it, but the thickened areas would not heat properly. I ate a piece cut out near the center that was pretty uniform. Most of it was not doughy. I popped the worst cooked part back in when I heated #2, intending to freeze the leftovers...
It was 4" wide at one end, 3" at the other, and took up less than half the box. I tried to cook it anyway -- WILD CAT FOOD... I tried heating the partially cooked slice in the microwave, but only the top acted right.
What I learned: Unless you plan to deliver the goods by dog sled in the frozen tundra. feed the pizza to someone nearby. (And my mouth is SO ready to taste a "real" example of that pizza -- just the shot of the one on the box lid did it.)
Thanks, LH -- Good try, and DID I EVER LAUGH... I don't think there will be much market for rhomboid and trapezoid pizzas. Home made weird pizza shapes would not be a good business venture to diversify into.
Oh, and the wild cats say, "Thank you very much. When's the next delivery scheduled?"