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PatM Hollywood Meeting (WC: 1116) F


http://pandemo.livejournal.com/678802.html

INT. UNIVERSAL STUDIO SOUND STAGE - MiID-AFTERNOON BREAK

The director has just called take five. The talent are standing on their marks, chatting about the scene problems, but their words are in the background. They start to move off.

OBIE, fresh off the bus, spies JEREMIAH, eyelid drooping, coming out from under the klieg lights. She moves into his path.

        OBIE
    May I touch you?

Jeremiah makes a move to pass by Obie, looking right past her without registering her identity.

        JEREMIAH
      (startled)
    To what end?

        OBIE
    Don’t worry; I won’t rape you.

        JEREMIAH
    Seems as if I’ve heard that line some-
    where before.

Tom, a passing cameraman, guffaws.

As Jeremiah moves closer, Obie reaches up and gently massages his droopy eyelid. Instantly, a tension passes out of him.

Looking around, Obie sees an empty chair and steers Jeremiah toward it.

INT. STUDIO - QUIET CORNER

        OBIE
    Park here, JG, so you’re more accessible.

        JEREMIAH
    JG?

        OBIE
      (singing robustly, but not prettily)
    From the valley of the Jolly, ho, ho,
    ho, Green Giant.

Jeremiah rolls his eyes, glancing around, but he also sits.

        JEREMIAH
      (wryly)
    Oh, my God! You’ve done it now! I’ll
    never outlive that nickname!

    How have you been? Did you get in your
    180 days?

        OBIE
    Not until June 10th, Not bad for a
    school year originally scheduled to be
    over before Memorial Day.

        JEREMIAH
    That must have sucked.

Jeremiah reaches for the cigarette pack in his pocket. Obie steps back.

        JEREMIAH
    I forgot.

Jeremiah replaces the cigarette.

Obie returns to his side, again working on his eye.

The tour bus horn toots. Obie looks up, then moves reluctantly toward the door.

        JEREMIAH
    Where are you going?

        OBIE
    That’s my bus.

INT. STUDIO - TRACKING SHOT? FOLLOWING SHOT?


Jeremiah stands, taking Obie’s arm and heads for the exit.

        JEREMIAH
    You got in here from a tour bus? I’m
    impressed! That’s not supposed to hap-
    pen.

        OBIE
    One of the passengers engaged the guard
    in conversation, then offered him a
    cigarette. He, much to his credit, did
    not let her in, but, as she is
    quite beautiful, did get distracted enough
    not to notice me.

        JEREMIAH
    How’d you know I’d be here?

        OBIE
    I didn’t. I just needed to see a work-
    ing set, and I could tell from the
    lights this was one.

        JEREMIAH
    How’s the script coming?

        OBIE
    I think it will be to screen play lit-
    erature what Wagner’s Ring Cycle is to
    opera -- an eight hour orgy.

As Jeremiah and Obie hit the door, the guard looks stunned.

EXT. OUTSIDE BUS DOOR

The driver gets off the bus, confronting Obie.

        DRIVER
    Is he going to pony up your $25.00 fee?

        OBIE
    Why would he do that? I entered this
    bus from the “free transportation to
    hotel” space, not the bus tours loca-
    tions.

    Obie squints at the driver’s badge number.

        OBIE
    Jeremiah, can you read me his badge
    number? He bilked five other people
    who thought they were en route to the
    hotel, by refusing to return their
    suitcases.

Obie opens her purse, officiously taking out a pad and pen.

Jeremiah steps around the driver, leaning into the bus.

        JEREMIAH
    Bus number four hundred thirty-two.
    Michael Smith. Badge number 117683.

Backing out, he hands Obie his cell phone.

        OBIE
    See if the five he wouldn’t let off
    want refunds.

Jeremiah steps into the bus. Everyone wants to be recognized by Jeremiah, so instantly, all want him to take their names for refunds.

        JEREMIAH
    I think we need to rethink this method,
    Obie.

Jeremiah begins signing autographs. The director steps forward.

        DIRECTOR
    If it is not too much of an inconven-
    ience, might I request your presence back on
    the set?

        JEREMIAH
    Right away, sir.

The director looks him over.

        DIRECTOR
    Maybe you’d better make a pass through
    make-up first. You’ve smeared your eye
    liner, it seems.

Jeremiah turns scarlet.

Obie enters the bus pointing to three people she can remember, repeating their names into Jeremiah’s cell phone.

        OBIE
      (still speaking into
      the phone, but address-
      ing the driver)
    I trust you can see your way clear to
    give me my bags, now, or would you like
    to have a little chat with your super-
    visor first?

Obie watches carefully while the driver refunds the money to the three Obie has recognized.

        DRIVER
      (ungraciously)
    Do you want your bags now, too, or are
    you going on to the hotel?

Without anyone to distract the guard, he stops Obie as she tries to enter.

        DIRECTOR
    If she’s done traumatizing that poor
    bus driver, let her back in, Bert. In
    fact, see to it that her bags are
    brought into the employee locker area
    and get her a pass so she can come and
    go at the front gate. It seems she’s
    attached herself to our male lead in a
    valuable fashion.

        OBIE
    Thank you, sir. I’m O. B. Horsefeath-
    ers.

        DIRECTOR
    Sure. I’ve heard Jeremiah speak
    of you. Four in a series and one stand
    alone, right?

        OBIE
    Yes, sir. None finished as yet, but
    the script for Propinquity and the Mes-
    merizer is getting close. I also have
    twenty thousand words of its sequel --
    it was my Script Frenzy piece this
    year.

        DIRECTOR
    I’d be interested in seeing a copy, if
    it is as funny as Jeremiah reports.

Obie looks down.

        OBIE
    I could get it for you yet this after-
    noon if I had access to a printer. I
    don’t know if it is wise to pass around
    a rough draft, however.

        DIRECTOR
    Normally, I’d agree, but with the
    writer’s strike, some of us are willing
    to be a bit more flexible. You’re not
    a union member?

        OBIE
    Actually, I am, but not of that union.
    I called the NEA and found out that it
    is okay for us to still write. They’d
    rather we didn’t cross any picket
    lines, but it is not forbidden ex-
    pressly. I was kind of a captive when
    I crossed today.

        DIRECTOR
    I love it! I will attest, as will
    Jeremiah and the guard here, that you
    were not deliberately coming to the
    studio, but were, in fact, on the way
    to your hotel.

Calling a best boy to him, the director heads back inside.

        GUARD
    Would you like my written statement?

        OBIE
      (surprised)
    That would be great! I didn’t realize
    he was serious. I just assumed that
    was a pacify Jeremiah move.

        GUARD
    If you suggest it, he might find you a
    trailer on the back lot where you could
    stay without crossing the picket line.
    Early mornings and evenings, they
    leave, so you’d just have to eat lunch
    on the set.

        OBIE
    That sounds ideal as long as I’d be
    able to recharge my powerbook battery
    regularly.

        GUARD
    I’ll make sure he gets the word.

Last updated 11/28/09 Changed the battery on my powerbook to the powerbook battery; 6/29/08.

Word count: 1116

Reading level:
Tags: patm
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