EXT. BUSY STREET - SIDEWALK - AFTER SCHOOL
Pedestrians of all sizes and shapes walk at various speeds down a busy street of upscale store fronts.
A girl on a skateboard (SKATEBOARD GIRL #1) jumps the curb and weaves her way through the crowd until directly in front of her is a young yuppie man with low rider jeans, showing lots of butt crack. SKATEBOARD GIRL #1 leans forward, grabs the belt loops on both sides of his hips and jerks down.
Yuppie man is not wearing undies. His buns are very nice. The camera lingers on them briefly as SKATEBOARD GIRL #1 weaves her way onward.
At the corner, CENSUS GIRL #1, equipped with a pencil and note pad, raises her eyebrows at SKATEBOARD GIRL #1 in inquiry.
- SKATEBOARD GIRL #1
With that, SKATEBOARD GIRL #1 is gone. The street resumes its interrupted flow. Nobody can now identify yuppie man.
INT. TEEN HANGOUT - CORNER BOOTH
A group of seventh grade girls are crammed around the table, drinking bottled water and snacking on carrot sticks.
need to make it a city-wide campaign.
If we are truly going to take back our
streets, we need to get these “Got it/
Flaunt it” guys into hiding. Why
should we be exposed to every crack
some guy thinks is worthy just because
a certain area from, say, 3:30 final
school bell until 4:30 gotta get home
to study, then publish the results.
EXT. BUSY STREET CORNER - SIDEWALK - 3:40
Skateboarders weave and dodge through the crowds, circling their assigned blocks in waves.
- SKATEBOARD GIRL #1
better. His wife was really embar-
rassed. I bet his crack-exhibiting
days are done!
Skateboard Girl #1 pumps her arm in the air, then jumps her skateboard over the curb and heads off along another street.
Skateboard Girl #2 skates up from the opposite direction.
- SKATEBOARD GIRL #2
Census Girl #1 records the crack census data on her note pad.
- CENSUS GIRL #1
EXT. ANOTHER BUSY STREET - SIDEWALK - NEARING 4:15
Another young girl, CENSUS GIRL #2, flags her third skater on, cheering.
- CENSUS GIRL #2
ally fell over his own pants!
SKATEBOARD GIRL #4 approaches, holding her eye.
- SKATEBOARD GIRL #3
- SKATEBOARD GIRL #4
him... We gotta rethink our strategy
before they really get a strike-back
As the girls talk, a POLICEMAN approaches on foot.
plaints of skateboarding girls acting
uncivilized toward pedestrians. I
think I just witnessed one such action
myself. Are you trying to get your-
selves arrested for indecent exposure?
- SKATEBOARD GIRL #3
Why don’t you ARREST THE PERPS, who
seem to believe that they’ve not only
GOT IT, but also have the right to
FLAUNT IT in public, where everyone be-
hind them on the same street can’t help
but see their ASSETS? Gross to the
max. It may damage my psyche, even put
me off men for life! What are YOU do-
ing to prevent public indecency?
assaults do fall within our purview. I
trust I won’t have to take further ac-
Guilty looks pass between the girls. The policeman takes their faces as their guarantee and walks on, satisfied.
INT. TEEN HANGOUT - CENTER TABLE - NEXT DAY
The seventh grade girls have again gathered in the local hang-out, but their corner booth is occupied, so they push two tables together in the middle of the room. Four others join them.
He’s not going to arrest ten seventh
graders, especially not several of us
top honors students.
for one, would NOT be amused, even
though she would agree with our cause.
Just last week, Dad chided a “low
rider” boy IN CHURCH, who told him to
mind his own business! Nothing and no-
where is sacred to these jerks!
KNOW we’re having an effect. I had two
guys who were still in low riders, but
had added suspenders to their ensemble.
Unnoticed by the girls, young yuppie man and a real “babe” come in, sitting nearby, his backside to them, crack showing.
unhook, then un-pants.
remember the yuppie hunk I de-pantsed
the first day out? HE was wearing a
belt at his waist with leather straps
connecting to the belt loops on his low
riders, no undies in evidence. On fur-
ther investigation, maybe a 7 rating
on those buns was a bit low. He's gor-
Recognizing his description, Yuppie man’s ear tips turn bright red. He talks a bit louder to drown out the conversation he really would rather his girl of the week did not hear.
on us! We’ll need to change our tech-
nique AND rethink our desire to pub-
lish, if the police plan to prosecute!
We honor students don’t want to smear
our reputations at this early age.
anonymously. For a story as juicy as
this one, it wouldn’t hurt to have some
video to go with it.
to do the stunts, or get people’s per-
mission if you’re going to USE it!
Don’t you remember all that copyright
stuff we were told about?
YUPPIE MAN again begins to talk to his date overly loudly.
- YUPPIE MAN
income of Nepal wouldn’t be enough to
entice me into staring in THAT produc-
NOT asked for permission!
YUPPIE MAN again tunes in.
and de-pants Yuppie man again, then ask
for permission to video...
- YUPPIE MAN
to be willing enough, if we can just
quit blushing long enough to make the
- YUPPIE MAN
just decided in first grade that I was
a worry wart, and space me off.
- (pouting prettily, but
ELSE will discourage premature, pre-
marital “full disclosure” of the as-
Arial blushes self-consciously as all eyes focus on her.
drive the perps from the street? Get
[Authorial aside: I really prefer gaily (in its old “Don we now our gay apparel” traditional sense...) Comments? Have we LOST a meaning of what used to be a perfectly respectable word permanently here? If we insist on using it in its traditional sense, can we rehabilitate/reclaim it? Even if not, does it add a double entendre that is funny, not offputting?]
Glenna gets out, goes to the counter and orders a triple decker cone for both her and Akiko. As she passes Yuppie Man’s table on the return trip, he unintentionally slides his chair back into her path and starts to rise. The cone nearest him is tilted as Glenna tries to avoid a collision. The top ball lands with precision, precisely in Yuppy Man’s butt crack. Fade to Act II on a reaction shot. (Director needs to make sure the damning dialog -- which Yuppie man and other girls heard, but not Glenna or his date -- precedes a clearly unintentional act.)
Last updated 8/14/08 Added to his girlfriend; changed the to us; changed ice cream dropper to Glenna; made directions to the director more specific. ( 8/4/08 - Changed Evian to bottled; reversed (thinks) and (lost in his own internal dialog); continued story to end of Act I. (7/9/08, Changed “thirteen- or fourteen year old” to “seventh grade”; removed “Nahida is again recording the crack census data.”; added “Census Girl #1 records the crack census data on her notepad.“; added “Four others join them.”; continued story to Act II start. 7/8/08 Reworked name policy. When talking in a group of friends, use names. When on the street, use job labels. Added boy crazy material. 7/7/08 - Script format work; 7/2/08 continued from “no undies in evidence. ”6/30/08 continued at dr.'s office; - 6/29/08, continued story - 6/28/08 Policeman's speech ended in purview).
Word Count: 1311