pandemo (pandemo) wrote,
pandemo
pandemo

PatM On the Beach (WC: 864) F


http://pandemo.livejournal.com/669507.html

INT. BEACH HOUSE - BEDROOM - JUST PAST DAWN


Jeremiah and OBIE visit one of his friend’s oceanside property. After an all-nighter, he pops up at dawn to go for a swim. Obie groans and rolls over, content to drop off.


        OBIE
    Don’t drown, okay? I don’t need any more excitement.

Jeremiah dons a Speedo.

        JEREMIAH
    Sweet dreams, Sweetie. I’ll be fine. I grew up swimming in this ocean.

EXT. BEACH HOUSE - BACK DECK


Jeremiah clatters down the back deck stairs to the beach level.


EXT. BEACH


Jeremiah reaches the damp sand left by the receding tide, removes his sandals and sets them on his towel just in the dry sand, then strides off briskly, enjoying the fresh breeze, early morning sounds, and ocean smells.

Around the second cove from the beach house, he meets a good-looking 20 something friend who is also strolling along the beach in a Speedo. The two look like renegades from a body builder’s convention. Hunks to the max.

They eye each other, measuringly, then grin. The wattage is brilliant. They high-five each other, then the friend begins to speak.

But instead of the expected scripted conversation, his friend rears back and eyes him more closely.


        FRIEND #1
      (touches Jeremiah’s nipples and various places on his chest gently.)
    Are those BITE marks?
      (beat)
    You old skinflint!
      (gives a nervous laugh)
    You might consider feeding her before bedding her!

A third equally well-built man approaches in time to overhear Jeremiah speak.


        JEREMIAH
    True passion may have its perils, but in my opinion, now that I’ve experienced the real thing, it’s well worth it. I feel sorry for anyone who hasn’t been where I’ve just gone.

        FRIEND #2
      (claps loudly and enthusiastically.)
    I applaud your honesty!

Friend #2 marks off the far extent of his left hand’s reach with the word compassion, and his right hand’s reach with passion, standing so his shadow is cast, Christ-like, arms wide spread, on the sand before him. He resumes walking toward Jeremiah and Friend #1.


        FRIEND #2
    Few men so willingly admit their significant others over the years have lacked the full range from compassion to unbridled, inarticulate passion.

Friend #2 stops abruptly directly in front of Jeremiah. His eyes widen.


        FRIEND #2
    Good God! What’s happened to you? No babe’s ever going to brand ME like that!

Jeremiah lifts his eyebrows smugly and engages his sexiest grin, shaking his head in pity of such ignorance.


        FRIEND #3
    Ay! Chihuahua! Get thrown literally to the wolves?

        JEREMIAH
    Jealousy ill becomes you.

        FRIEND #4
    If you parade around so obviously mauled, what will all the hot babes think?

        JEREMIAH
    That I’m well and truly loved...

Jeremiah’s eyes and smile convey his meaning eloquently.

The camera angle is high. More beach-goers press around Jeremiah. Every once in a while, we get a close up of Jeremiah as he delivers another line.


        JEREMIAH
    I wear my badges of honor with pride.

        JEREMIAH
    The smart ones will rest assured that I’m getting plenty.

        FRIEND #5
      (gives a long whistle)
    You look as if you’ve been ridden hard and put away wet.

        JEREMIAH
    Sexy look, isn’t it? I think the rumpled, slept-in (or not) hair adds immensely to the total look.

Jeremiah’s closest rival approaches in time to hear the tail end of that remark.


        FRIEND #6
    What look would that be, Jeremiah?

        JEREMIAH
    I’m demonstrating the new aura for the morning-after — the well-loved look.

Friend #6 eyes Jeremiah’s chest closely, raising his eyebrows in inquiry.


        FRIEND #6
    Gee, Jer, I don’t know. Looks painful.

        JEREMIAH
    You know what they say: if you’ve got it, flaunt it!

Jeremiah gives his famous cocky grin, showing his dimples.


        FEMALE FRIEND
    Oh, you poor dear. That goes way past love bites.

Female Friend touches one nipple tenderly, almost reverently. Jeremiah deftly steps out of reach.


        JEREMIAH
    That depends on how deeply the love flows. I was egging her on to the max. My wife is a dream come true.

        FEMALE FRIEND
    Wife? What WIFE? When did you marry? How come nobody knew?

        JEREMIAH
    Oops! Can ya’ll keep a secret?

Jeremiah looks around him carefully. His shoulders slump.


        JEREMIAH
    No. Of course not! Whatever was I thinking?

        FRIEND #1
    Hey, man, that’s great! When do we get to meet the sweet young thing?

        JEREMIAH
    I can’t introduce her. The studio put a “no marriage” clause in my contract after Mr. Biggler’s run-in with Obie.

        FRIEND #1
    That old b.., gal, right? I heard about that! She’s really hell on wheels, huh?

        JEREMIAH
    That’s putting it mildly. She’s unbelievable in so many ways...

A silly grin spreads over Jeremiah’s face.


        FRIEND #4
    We’re going another four miles. Want to come along?

        JEREMIAH
    No, I’d better be getting back. Breakfast, and all that, you know...

Jeremiah widens his eyes knowingly, then wiggles his eyebrows, grins, and turns back.


INT. BEACH HOUSE - BEDROOM - TWO HOURS LATER


Jeremiah enters the bedroom and gently kisses Obie awake, offering her a fresh raspberry.


        OBIE
    Must be pretty hot out to dry out your suit already.


Word Count: 846
Tags: patm
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