pandemo (pandemo) wrote,

Lend My Your Ears

The offer to lend you an ear still stands.

Last week, a wax build-up in my right ear (the "good" ear generally) cut my hearing to the 40% I normally get in my left ear. Before classes started, but after the clinic was open, I called.

On the way out of the school building, my knees were cricking and groaning with every step. NF was sitting, back against the wall, between the outside and inside doors, within hearing of the steps.

"Want to trade knees?" I quipped.

When he looked up blankly at me, I added, "Don't do it, kid. It's a bad deal. Mine 'talk' all the time."

The look on his face was priceless. Not the swiftest kid on the block, but I didn't realize he was quite THAT disconnected.

I went in and E the PA flushed it. Ah, bliss. Warm, and after four tries, all the plugging material was out. He got stuff from the left one, but not much by comparison. He gave me a prescription for an antibiotic to put right in my ears four times a day "just in case".

The pharmacist suggested lying for ten minutes on my side after my "significant other" carefully introduced 3-4 drops to my ear... Then reversing for the other one. (20 min. flat on one side or the other... Four times a day. Like that can happen during school...)

So, basically, I did a half dosage daily... Morning and night.

It didn't work.

So yesterday, the problem was back with a really swollen right ear. E the PA put in a wick, and dosed it, telling me to use this more powerful stuff twice a day and put me on an oral antibiotic as well. ($65 worth of meds.) I didn't open the ear drops last night, but did set the box within reach so I would see it and use it first thing in the morning.

In a near-brilliant move, this morning I dumped an entire bottle of ear medicine down my arm. Not realizing that it had a dipper top instead of the expected removable-then insert-the-bottle top, I leaned over and got it out, feeling only the screw part of the top, tipping the bottle down toward the arm I was leaning on as I unscrewed the cap. It had a long dipper attached, which I stared at stupidly as my long sleeved nightgown absorbed the medicine streaming down my arm.

Topical application does not equal insertion... My forearm is hearing ever so well, I'm sure. Unfortunately, it lacks the requisite connection to my brain... :-(

Now the ear has heated things up clear into my neck. I got the dr.'s office to call the pharmacy to authorize another bottle of the shake-it-up-well-first stuff. This time, I will be up, awake, and aware of the bottle with insert tip nature, so should be able to apply the 3-4 recommended drops properly instead of leaving the job to my highly incompetent and imaginary "significant other".

As E the PA said, "This may get messy before it gets better."

I questioned what he meant.


Well, he makes ACCURATE predictions, let me tell you.

I notified Mr. L today just in case, and his remark was, "Don't do that." (Call in sick.)

(I have not missed a day yet this year, and have paid for two dr. visits and three types of medicine trying to head off any problems, so I hardly think he's got a gripe coming...) I'm just praying it's the $25 bottle, not the $40 stuff that I dumped...

I'll gladly lend you my head for a day or two... It's got a really neat vocabulary stored in it.

Ah, I see. I really didn't think you'd be gullible enough to fall for that one any more than NF would take on my knees for a day.

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