Last week, when I finally found my mother and aunt in the airport, Mom regaled me with the story of passing through airport security, where a man and a woman were checking people's carry on luggage.
Frequent ominous announcements of Condition Orange and heightened security measures bothered me.
Not trusting her purse, she clipped an envelope with her bank withdrawal to her bra. Of course, she BEEPED. She removed many things, but she still beeped. Finally, she unbuttoned her blouse part way and unclipped the envelope, and deposited the money in the tray, sailing regally on through.
Strip search at 80+? -- what a gal!