INT. JEREMIAH'S HOLLYWOOD MANSION - EARLY MORNING
Jeremiah decides he has to take Obie in hand to be sure she's properly dressed for her TV appearance on the LARRY KING LIVE show.
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
are in a profession that judges people
superficially. Your association with
me could reflect badly on your per-
ceived success in your chosen profes-
sion. I understand that.
Why don't you go live on Larry King
alone? Surely I wasn't part of the
original deal. This really can't be
like "Show and Tell" time or an "each
one bring one" style tent revival...
- JEREMIAH
the tenor of the vapid remarks most
starlets utter, you're sure to be en-
dearing. I predict a smash.
- JEREMIAH
cosmetics?
- OBIE
Name one time when you've seen me
decked out in either.
- JEREMIAH
gig and Wednesday's meeting with the
industry moguls, we'd better remedy
that and err on the side of meeting
minimal industry expectations.
- OBIE
I don't know how to contain my glee at
the prospect of viewing this body in
three way mirrors...
Call up an Amway distributor. I'm not ex-
perimenting with new brands of cosmet-
ics with my history of allergies. The
first time I ever tried using a tube of
lipstick, way back in seventh grade, I
broke out in hives in a ring around my
mouth. I'm sure Larry King's audience
would find that ever so endearing.
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- JEREMIAH
- Jeremiah drops the blouse in his hand back into her suitcase, still smiling.
JEREMIAH
- JEREMIAH
- JEREMIAH
A-shopping we will go;
Heigh-ho the derry-o,
A-shopping we will go.
- OBIE
A shopping we will go;
We'll buy a dress to replace this mess;
Then on TV we'll go!
-Jeremiah drags Obie into big brand name store
-Jeremiah picks out an evening gown with a low chest and a high thigh slit
-Obie examines all the garment, slit and cleft, wide-eyed
-Obie pantomimes refusing to try it on
-Jeremiah brings up another outlandish outfit with a see-through top
-Obie examines herself in the three way mirror, horrified
-Obie dashes back to the changing room
- Obie rapidly sheds the offending garment
-Jeremiah enters while she's mostly undressed, his arms full of other offerings
-Obie grabs a handy hanger and begins to bang him on the head with it
-Jeremiah ducks back outside, dropping his offerings in a pile on the floor of the changing room
-Jeremiah grins his cocky grin and shakes his head admiringly
-Obie examines another outfit in the three way mirror
-Jeremiah's eyes light up at the low cleavage
-Obie shakes her head negatively
-Obie examines another fantastic outfit that might have been worn successfully by Cher in the three-way mirror
-Obie shakes her head negatively
-Jeremiah and Obie enter another big name brand store
-Jeremiah selects several more outfits
-Obie examines one outfit in the three way mirror
-Obie shakes her head negatively
END MONTAGE
INT. BIG NAME FASHION SHOP - LATER IN THE MORNING
Obie models a simple pink and white floral pattern blouse and a nearly floor length dark green jumper that buttons clear down the front.
For the first time, Obie is not totally negative. Since nearly her whole body is covered after all the see-through, peek-a-boo styles Jeremiah has chosen, she's ready to snatch them up.
- JEREMIAH
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
What an incurable Yuppie!
What in the world am I doing out here in California?
Obie and Jeremiah are picking through yet another jewelry store's wares, he proposing, she refusing.
- OBIE
- JEWELER
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- JEWELER
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEWELER
- JEREMIAH
INT. TONY ITALIAN RESTAURANT - NOONISH
One large plate of spaghetti sits between Obie and Jeremiah on the table. Both eat from opposite sides. Jeremiah deftly twirls his around his fork with a spoon. Obie is less adept.
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH (CONTINUOUS)
- OBIE (CONTINUOUS)
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
Nervously, Obie waits with Jeremiah for their appearance to promote her Saga series, which she is to pitch as a group of four, beginning with the Saga of Travels Far Woman.
It all becomes moot, however, if the pair of them can't create some buzz about the project, which will hopefully entice the studio into producing the movie.
A TV screen in the corner is showing a slow pan of the audience. Like many people, when a TV is on in her presence, Obie compulsively watches it.
The monitor shows an audience that is predominantly female, and many are Hispanic.
Jeremiah glances once at the TV, then focuses exclusively on Obie.
- JEREMIAH
- JEREMIAH (CONTINUOUS)
Obie nods her head.
- JEREMIAH (CONTINUOUS)
- JEREMIAH (CONTINUOUS)
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
Don’t make me famous. Don’t make me infamous. Don’t garner public attention for me or at my expense, or even offer it to me at all. I don’t want my life disrupted. I won’t thank you for that or think of you kindly afterward, believe me.
- Jeremiah
- OBIE
- Jeremiah
- OBIE
- Jeremiah
- OBIE
I don't remember you asking if I wanted to be with you. You just showed up and sort of commandeered my work, taking me along for the ride.
- STAGEHAND # 1
- LARRY KING (V.O.) (CONTINUOUS)
- (shouts)
- JEREMIAH (SIMULTANEOUS)
- OBIE
- AUDIENCE
- OBIE
- OBIE
- AUDIENCE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- LARRY
- JEREMIAH
- LARRY
Pam leans against Jeremiah's arm, sliding hers underneath his as though he has taken possession of hers.
Obie looks directly at Larry, ignoring the byplay across from her.
- OBIE
- AUDIENCE
- JEREMIAH
- AUDIENCE
- JEREMIAH
- LARRY
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- AUDIENCE
- LARRY
- OBIE
- AUDIENCE
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
The work I’m trying to complete right now is a script called Propinquity and the Mesmerizer. I’ve got Jeremiah in mind as the male lead, ideally playing opposite Phyllis Diller. He’s being quite coy when he doesn’t tell you that straight up, isn’t he? It might be a stretch for him, but he's got a pretty long reach.
- OBIE
- AUDIENCE
- LARRY
- OBIE
- AUDIENCE
- LARRY
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- OBIE
- AUDIENCE
- JEREMIAH
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- OVERHEAD TV SCREENS
- AUDIENCE
- JEREMIAH
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
Obie puts one finger in a dimple, taking the edge off her words.
- OBIE
- HISPANIC AUDIENCE MEMBERS
- LARRY
- OVERHEAD TV SCREENS
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- LARRY (SIMULTANEOUS)
- JEREMIAH (SIMULTANEOUS)
- OBIE
- OBIE
- LARRY (SIMULTANEOUS)
- JEREMIAH (SIMULTANEOUS)
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
Pam stands and with a sultry motion and crosses to examine the ring.
- OBIE
- PAM
- OBIE
- LARRY
- JEREMIAH
- AUDIENCE
- OBIE (SIMULTANEOUS)
- JEREMIAH (SIMULTANEOUS)
- AUDIENCE
- OBIE
- OBIE
- AUDIENCE
- JEREMIAH
Obie gives her body a good look over, raising her eyes meaningfully.
- OBIE
- AUDIENCE
- OBIE
Shall I set up a scene from the movie with this lovely potential leading lady, or the song?
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- PAM
- OBIE
Soon, Jeremiah is scowling fiercely.
The lines are interpreted as if Despina is a siren, not a sedate schoolteacher.
It is WRONG in a fundamental way.
Exasperated, JEREMIAH casts an eye at Obie.
When they hit a natural ending spot, Jeremiah quickly returns Pam to the seats, and grabbing Obie, repeats the reading. Obie’s characterization is deft and humorous.
- PAM
- OBIE
- LARRY
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- LARRY
A band appears, carrying chairs, instruments, and music stands.
Obie signals to a STAGEHAND to approach.
- OBIE
- OBIE
Tio Tiajuana picks up on the Spanish pronunciation Obie gives to the group's name, and switches languages.
- TIO TIAJUANA
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- STAGEHAND # 1
- OBIE
- STAGEHAND # 1
- STAGEHAND # 2
- OBIE
- TIO TIAJUANA
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- AUDIENCE
- OBIE
- OBIE
Dad had a pat response. “This trail is way too steep for horses.”
“You see that? That’s a ROAD APPLE.”
”No, it can’t be. We’re too high for horses.”
“I’ve scooped enough to recognize them. Those are horse droppings.”
“Ah, but have you ever seen elk excrement?”
- AUDIENCE
- OBIE
birthday, I was vindicated. At ten
thirty that morning, the park rangers
left the meadow where we’d parked and
were even with us, on our final leg of
the climb over the eleven thousand foot
pass, by four thirty. They picked up
the birthday boy and gave him a ride to
the top on their well-trained mountain
elk.
- AUDIENCE
- OBIE
ate double entendre.
- JEREMIAH AND OBIE
My back weary; legs threatening to fail;
You strode in front; I stumbled in back;
Your legs felt super; my muscles felt slack.
You exclaimed at nature's beauty with glee;
I saw another identical tree;
You drew in the crisp air lustily
As I gasped for breath, sighing disgustedly.
Your pack gave you freedom to roam;
Mine weighed me down while I longed for home;
For you, Mountain Bluebirds preened and sang;
I saw the flick of departing wings with a jealous pang.
You were invigorated by the cold mountain lake;
The icy waters were more than I could take;
You settled down to spend life content;
I returned to the city, leaving you the tent.
Last updated 6/20/08 removed interjections; 1/8/08. (Formatted in Page, some wording changes/deletions/additions. (6/28/07 - turned off the auto-formatting feature) (6/4/07 - Tried to format for script, unsuccessfully...)
Word Count: 4787
Reading Level: 5.2