INT. COMMERCIAL PUDDLE JUMPER OVER THE CALIFORNIA COAST - DAYTIME
As the De Havilland Dash 7 begins its final descent, Obie, in a window seat, awakens, stretching limitedly, a smile on her face. Jeremiah sits beside her, the script for an upcoming Arizona desert shoot he's been memorizing in his hand.
pay much attention, living alone and all.
take a look out of the window, you can see...
CUT TO EXT. - BIRD'S EYE VIEW - SMALL AIR STRIP - /if
A picturesque cliff side airport appears. It boasts a glass topped control tower and a small terminal with several runways long enough for corporate jets in the foreground. The majestic Pacific Ocean provides a perfect backdrop.
Hundreds of colorful dots shimmer on the tarmac near the terminal.
INT. AIRCRAFT CABIN
tummy gods with such reckless behavior as
window looking. They play too roughly.
get inundated by its incessant ravages. Prone
is fairly safe, as positions go.
How did I let you talk me into this? I know
me. Why Bonamine, a seasickness remedy, to
four hours, then wake up logy and vomit your
breakfast all other your poor unsuspecting
brother. Scarred him for life, to hear him tell
it. He took to calling me "Old Puke Gut" for a
while when Dad was running a flying club and
all the family vacations were made via Cubs
With Bonamine, on the other hand, you’re
awake when it wears off, so you have a prayer
of getting another tablet in time, or at least
guiding the final disposition of your deposit
into an appropriate airsickness bag or recep-
Obie turns his arm so she can scrutinize his watch.
over an hour and a half. If that's the case, I
think we're likely to have worse problems to
worry about than a smelly little mess on the
CUT TO EXT. - BIRD'S EYE VIEW - SMALL AIR STRIP - CROWD ON TARMAC
The colorful dots are now separate and morph into individuals milling around on the airplane side of the terminal, normally off limits to non-airline personnel or passengers.
Despite Obie's comments about not being able to look out the window, in the end, she is unable to resist the lure of the ocean and is soon glued to her porthole.
INT. CABIN - CONTINUOUS
EXT. AIRPORT - POV OBIE'S EYES - CONTINUOUS
As the plane approaches the runway, the control tower and terminal flash past.
- OBIE (V.O.)
Where'd you ever come up with a place that
still used those? Someone's PR department's
been working overtime.
EXT. AIRPORT - CROWD ON TARMAC - CONTINUOUS
- OBIE (V.O.)
even a TV camera. You really rate, don’t you?
You didn’t seem like such a big deal in Iowa.
INT. AIRPLANE CABIN
way one night stand, huh?
type of a welcome home bash my agent
planned with them. If I go anywhere they
know about, they're forever sending a likely
starlet to accidentally bump into me.
play: the elderly matron with the good-
looking gigolo on her arm. Way to go, Jere-
and bushy tailed.
Groucho Marx impersona-
That's the only kind of tail you're likely to get
Jeremiah eyes her strangely, obviously not recognizing her adopted persona.
Looking at him, Obie wears a wry expression as she quietly contemplates the cultural significance of a fifty-some year age gap.
EXT. CROWD - CONTINUOUS
- JEREMIAH (V.O.)
INT. AIRPLANE CABIN - CONTINUOUS
Obie gawks out the window again.
seem to be female teenie boppers.
Jeremiah shrugs philosophically as the PLANE taxies to a stop.
ies regularly. To an actor, there's no such
thing as "bad publicity".
Jeremiah stands as the door opens.
The plane quickly empties.
One tall, dark haired man, CHAUFFEUR, enters and picks up Jeremiah's carry-on.
- (to Chauffeur)
The Chauffeur and Obie shake hands.
The Chauffeur scoops up Obie's carry-on, as well.
Anything else, sir?
we've touched down.
The Chauffeur strides off.
INT. CABIN AISLE
Obie withholds her comment until the Chauffeur's safely out of hearing. She and Jeremiah move slowly toward the exit.
expected it to come from outside sources.
have nothing to hold up, nothing to sell, not
even a "will hit the market by" date? I can't
possibly finish Saga by tomorrow, even if I
edit all night. I need to be rested to edit ef-
fectively, although I do seem to be able to
write in my sleep...
Some of my fondest outlandish ideas occur as
I'm either dropping off or waking.
EXT. TOP OF BOARDING RAMP
As Jeremiah and Obie reach the top of the ramp, Jeremiah puts his hand against the small of Obie's back and allows her to precede him.
- OBIE (V.O.)
himself from me when he saw he’d be on TV.
Maybe his inappropriate choices of women
who don't fit his image is what leads his stu-
dio to send starlets out for him.
The ROAR of the crowd of girls is incredible. It forms a constant background sound.
As they start down, several FEMALE FANS MAKE A SERIOUS ATTEMPT TO BREAK through the police lines. The TV CAMERA deftly TRACKS the action.
staying on those girls as avidly as a leopard
waiting to pounce on its intended victim.
Sometimes he does movies, sometimes the
news -- everyone will gladly welcome his tal-
ents for as long as he's willing to work for
You note, he's the only one out here, putting
his camera at risk? The studio probably
hooked him with a claim that this shoot was
too dangerous to risk him on, or something.
He's the one who wants to spend three
months with us joined at the hip. I haven't
decided if I have the guts to take him up on it,
EXT. TARMAC - CROWD - CONTINUOUS
A cordon of police officers restrains most of the fans, but a few finally break through.
- FEMALE FANS
- (ad lib yells)
As the human wave buffets her, Obie adopts a football linebacker stance and begins to move a few of the girls backward down the stairs, watching with some satisfaction as one goes all the way onto the tarmac.
Jeremiah appears in the doorway.
More girls break free, screaming incoherently, wild with excitement.
Several FEMALE FANS trample over Obie. When they reach Jeremiah, they pluck whatever they can grab, ripping Jeremiah's JACKET, his TIE, his SHIRT, even tearing out chunks of his HAIR.
to love and value, not something you want to
pluck for dinner!
Although Jeremiah GRINS as charismatically as ever for the camera, his body language indicates that he is a bit nonplussed by the ferociousness of the uproar.
Fighting her way back to his side, Obie deftly TIPS the foremost girl backward down the ramp, then goes after the next, until soon the way is clear for Jeremiah to descend.
The police slowly re-establish their cordon.
Obie spots a man with a cell phone who is the apparent ringleader of this demonstration.
to say to him!
Obie, throwing body blocks that rival those of an NFL lineman, moves relentlessly toward her goal.
suckers before the poor man is starkers.
Jeremiah catches up to her, one SHOE gone, torn PANT LEGS past the knee on one side, and NAKED to the waist. Nevertheless, Jeremiah gallantly takes Obie's arm, escorting her with great dignity across the burning tarmac to the terminal.
The police have pushed the crowd back inside the terminal.
The noise level drops dramatically as the terminal door closes on the last of them.
Jeremiah slants Obie a wry grin.
you, I didn't realize you'd be more effective at
crowd control than Huston, and, believe me,
he's no slouch when it comes to breaking up
Obie shakes her head.
me into this trip? Good weather is no com-
pensation for being surrounded by packs of
predatory females perfectly willing to dis-
member you to prove their loyalty and affec-
tion. They obviously mistook the tarmac for a
nudist camp, and you for its first denizen
deigning to disrobe.
into the terminal by a nearly naked man rates
on my "must-do events before I die" list.
Jeremiah sends her an engaging grin.
high gain microphones, don't you? Colorful
commentary like that ought to send you to
the top of the press's index of desirable peo-
ple to shadow when in need of a thirty
second sound bite to top off the evening news.
Jeremiah and Obie near the terminal doors, through which more CROWDS, mostly female teenagers, and two more TV CAMERAS are visible.
surd question! Positively plucked in patches.
Now I see why you go in for those ragged,
wild looking cuts instead of something more
Jeremiah stares at her face in fascination, then as she goes to drop her arms, steps between them, embraces her, and gives her a warm, lingering kiss.
Afterward, Obie eyes the crowd pressed tightly against the glass terminal walls, watching every move she and Jeremiah make.
the hatred of every woman here today, sure
I've usurped her rightful place, and that she's
more deserving than a dumpy old bag like me
could possibly be. Thanks!
make of your caustic view of our delightful
state. I can just feel in my bones the press
coverage being aired. I hope my agent has
sent recent material to all the usual
Undaunted, Jeremiah squares his shoulders as if he were an early Christian martyr marching off to do battle against a den of hungry lions. He opens the door and takes her arm, leading her into the fray this time.
Once inside, Jeremiah begins to work the crowd, shaking hands two at a time, occasionally signing whatever unlikely items are thrust at him through the cordon of police, sometimes even people's skin.
- Giddy Fan
Obie deliberately catches her eye.
stink could leave you friendless.
Those within hearing laugh.
corner of her mouth)
Jeremiah nods assent absently.
hear one of you Hollywood types are coming.
And to think that I was embarrassed by the
way the Corydon folk mobbed you at Lud-
low's. By California standards, they were
models of decorum... remarkably well be-
Jeremiah pauses briefly to focus on Obie, then moves on, smiling indiscriminately at fan after fan. Even though he's not expecting her work to be worth much, he cannot resist the allure of seeing himself on video, no matter how amateurish.
woman who falls head over heels for you!
I stuck the five-minute version on your laptop
under "movies" under the title "Steak House
Readathon." I've got ideas for a voice over
we can append explaining the movie's con-
Jeremiah wonderingly turns away from the waiting fans.
hearts is through their stomachs. I
can tell with you, however, your significant
others are going to have to be fluent video-
graphers and film editors.
Obie opens the laptop, loads the file, and sotto voce, narrates.
Arm draped across Obie's shoulders, Jeremiah watches intently, laughing repeatedly. As they exit, he doesn't even see his driver open the car door for them, he's so involved.
INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS
blow away a movie mogul?
will look like pabulum out here. My Millen-
nium Party horse promo isn't likely to im-
Obie wordlessly keys it up.
One of my customers had a new DVD camera
she was learning to operate. It reaches a
quarter mile, audio and video, with enough
acuity to identify the different animals as they
Had her mother stuck my old VHS camera out
the window as I crept through the running
herd to get ahead of them to turn them, now
THAT would have been some footage! But we
were both too upset to even think of it until
I kept chanting, "Please go home; please go
home," like a mantra.
The "off" switch froze up, so we ran footage of
the lens cap cover as it lay beside me on the
seat throughout the whole ordeal.
The herd coated the highway in road apples.
When I went back to school, the superinten-
dent asked if I had a round up on New Year's.
Nobody else out there has a large enough
herd to leave that much residue, he ex-
Everything had a coating of ice. Gates were
iced in position, either open or shut, for the dura-
Franz von Suppé's Light Cavalry Overture is
just the perfect background music to the ac-
tion. I had to go clear to Germany for the
Deutsche grammophon recording.
My place isn’t named PANDEMONIUM by acci-
into the sound track on what is essentially a
dropped out a bit of sound track in one spot
and looped another to allow the horses to all
run by. If you knew the piece, as classical
music buffs will, the alterations would stick
out like moving Mt. Everest to Nebraska.
Jeremiah eyes Obie speculatively.
to Harry about it.
any access to equipment. Do you have a DVD
camera that can withstand water?
with the camera mounted on the horse, or
rider. A dive from the Sedona cliffs into the
water with the camera taped on the diver's
Billy, the guy who wants to video my life, real
time, twenty-four, seven.
among other things.
Word Count: 2956
Reading Level: 6.1