INT. CORYDON - LUDLOW'S STEAK HOUSE - BAY WINDOW TABLE - NIGHT
Obie gets a pin with a colored head from the waitress behind the east bar.
pin in your hometown on the wall map.
Obie drags Jeremiah between loaded tables to the wall map on the west side of the restaurant.
ence always helps, right? I can't believe
you're an actor. I always imagined they were
'on' all the time, obnoxiously so.
Jeremiah slants his charismatic grin at her, which several tables-full of patrons relish.
that there pin in.
Jeremiah reaches up to poke a pin into the California coast, hitting blue.
pin in the Pacific Ocean. You were born at
sea? Your mother is really a mermaid, and
you were adopted when you were found
stranded on the strand shortly after birth?
impersonator. Actually, I'm not wearing my
glasses. Try San Francisco.
Is there a plug-in handy?1
about non sequiturs.
Jeremiah overhears parts of Obie’s comments.
- JEREMIAH (SIMULTANEOUSLY)
- OBIE (SIMULTANEOUSLY)
night, as unlikely as that is.
Bet I have fifty years on him if I have a day!
Obie starts back to their table with Jeremiah trailing behind her.
Jeremiah smacks his forehead.
off colored to me. Damn man is a walking sex
machine and knows it. Pure SOAS.
Obie wanders back to their table by a different route, dodging Jeremiah.
and to, but what in the world is drawing HIM
to ME? And why would he expect me to be-
lieve it enough to respond?
Obie begins to sit. Jeremiah appears magically, slides her chair in at the last possible moment, yet manages it smoothly, making it seem as if she expected it to any lookers-on, then sits opposite her.
still too softly for the atten-
tive diners nearby to hear)
plug you in yourself? Afraid she'll jump your
bones in public?
most of the time, being fully trained and all.
Does O. B. stand for Old Bat, Old Biddy? Or
maybe something worse?
Raising his eyes to meet those of the WAITRESS, Jeremiah calls her wordlessly to him.
from the bar?
Obie rolls her eyes toward Jeremiah.
for my laptop?
Setting two menus down, the waitress leaves. Jeremiah meets Obie's eyes.
seem immune. I came to you.
Jeremiah takes Obie's hands in his.
a line from an old song.
context and out of tune as it is.
Jeremiah retrieves his laptop from an empty chair at their table as another waitress approaches, carefully laying a cord along the wall where it will not become an obstacle, winding up at their table with the working end in hand, throwing a triumphant smile at Jeremiah, as if she'd just given her very life to save him from some dire fate.
Jeremiah returns the smile, touching her hand unnecessarily as he removes the plug and hooks up his laptop, then dismisses her by turning back to Obie.
What's the song's name?
while you go reserve your room and I'll tell
Jeremiah turns his laptop to face Obie. Obie speaks without looking at him.
Jeremiah stands as he speaks.
He moves to her chair, escorting her to the buffet.
Standing side by side, Obie and Jeremiah dish up lettuce salads.
between us! Awesome!
Taking both plates, Jeremiah sets them on their table, then seats Obie again.
be spared that embarrassment.
description of Cu.
generally worn loose.
Obie glances up.
ficial and can be spotted readily. Whoever
plays the role will own the hair permanently
for the duration.
Thinking about movie fake-outs reminds me
of the time I was at the screening of the origi-
nal Black Stallion movie.
Int. Arabian National Championship Horse Show - ringside patron’s boxes.
- OBIE (V. O.)
of patrons of the National Championship Ara-
bian Horse Show boxes over to the preview,
as a big promotional event, and as I'd been
picking the brain of the acknowledged Arabian
Horse bloodlines and conformation expert,
Gladys Brown Edwards, I not only got scooped
up, but ended up sitting with her, the pro-
ducer and his entourage of industry flunkies,
as at the time, she worked for the top Arabian
Horse magazine, the Arabian Horse World.
INT. MOVIE THEATER SCREEN
Insert footage from The Black Stallion of the boy and horse swimming off the desert island.
- OBIE (V. O.)
classic Crabbett style of Old World Arabian
had been used, a black stallion called Cass
Olé, who was there on the show grounds, as
was Kelly Reno, the eleven year old boy who
played Alec Ramsey. Cass Olé had a short,
thickish neck, well-arched, and a short back.
Display the start of the race scene from The Black Stallion.
- OBIE (V. O.)
switched to a tall, lanky new Egyptian import,
*EL MOKHTAR. With the first long distance
side shot, the entire audience began to laugh.
INT. MOVIE THEATER - INCLUDING THE SEATING AREA - SCREENING RACE SCENE
- OBIE (V. O.)
INT. MOVIE THEATER - SEATING AREA - PRODUCER’S ROW
- MOVIE MOGUL
- GLADYS BROWN EDWARDS
- MOVIE MOGUL
INT. LUDLOW’S - OBIE AND JEREMIAH’S TABLE
- OBIE (V. O.)
tacts, a long-haired black wig, and finagled
camera angles to enhance your height would
be the exact same thing to people in the
Jeremiah hangs his head.
we can only pray that they would respond
with laughter, not rotten tomatoes.
with it. It's just that I came and got you be-
cause I WANT TO PLAY CU.
tually KISSES the girl, whereas Cu just mar-
ries her, repeatedly, in tribal ceremonies she
does not understand, and nobody thinks to fill
Obie sets her fork down.
Jeremiah pins Obie with his eyes.
pected, without ever kissing him on screen,
sort of by propinquity, the same way you
seem to get your girlfriends. You star with
them and voilá, next thing you know, you're
buying them an expensive house, which you
later gift them with and leave, still friends.
parts in my screenplay. I checked out all the
young Turks IMDB generated until I got sick of
Obie reaches over, touching Jeremiah's hand.
read all that into the junk that's printed about
me on line.
admit that you're amazingly accurate in your
assessment, considering the tripe you evalu-
say impolite things and think you're a fake.
Guys seem to be threatened by you, so per-
haps that’s why they’re so negative.
Jeremiah sets his fork down and picks up Obie’s hand.
I was ready to nail my mouse to a fence post
and go horse around instead.
Jeremiah rubs his fingers across Obie’s hand.
of the Chicago Sun-Times. He’s a real kick.
Then I signed up for DVD's By Mail and began
watching people’s movies so I had some idea
of their range.
skipped all those, and most of the B flicks.
But I watched Pearls Before Swine repeatedly.
recognize me when I first came to your door?
the same… Well, you HAD CLOTHES ON when you
came to my door… Not a Speedo.
flaunt it' rule obviously applies, especially in
your business. And NOBODY is denying that
you've got it. You don't have to get so huffy.
But, I wouldn’t have opened the door to you
had you been wearing one.
dressed like that? Get real. Iowa’s a far piece
from any stargazer’s hangout.
You're part Irish; he's Irish. You're similar in
age. He's tall; you're tall. He's well built;
you're well built, but you're now the age
where you're going to have to be careful not
to start to go to fat.
Jeremiah glances down at his skin tight shirt, stretched over an extremely fit torso.
gutsy, and no pansy.
I don't know you well enough to know how
you stack up in that regard, but I sense you
want to keep your hometown values, not get
sucked into a Hollywood high roller lifestyle.
demanding one than the Indian do-gooder's.
The book isn't even fully edited and ready to
send off, and here we're arguing casting for
the movie tie-in.
Quit playing the devastated lover. I'm way
too vulnerable to withstand the onslaught of
your grin. You have no real feelings for me.
I’m just excess baggage on the train trip of
sumptions that I disagree with. I’ve read everything I can find of yours on line.
How did you decide that I don't feel any con-
nection to you? You're the most intriguing
woman I've ever met. I came down here be-
cause YOU have something that I want. You.
Jeremiah cups her hand between both of his.
young, talented, well-educated, well-thought
of, rich, successful, sensuous, sexy, seductive,
you name it, but they didn't last. I’m still sin-
gle, still unsatisfied, and still searching.
I feel hollow. There's got to be something
Obie meets his eyes for a long moment, then concentrates on her water glass.
Jeremiah backs off.
current Wikipedia photos, I discovered that.
Tom Cruise, Patrick Swayze, Josh Hartnett,
Leonardo De Capri, Orlando somebody with
gorgeous dark eyes.
think your definition of YOUNG needs some
mail services to check out their acting, movie
by movie, through their entire available reper-
fornia with me to pitch your series to the
the young Turks will be considered.
meeting with the studio big wigs and round
trip transportation, will you accompany me?
they show interest. You don't have to hand
them hard copy. What you want to do is show
that your project has "legs", that the public is
interested in it.
Jeremiah pushes his empty plate aside and pulls his laptop into position.
Looking up, he eyeballs the full tables more intently, as if counting heads.
here, and let's do a reading for them.
Obie is effectively cut off as Jeremiah stands and raps his fork sharply on the side of his water glass.
upcoming book and movie, would you all be
willing to oblige us by listening?
Chairs SCRAPE as people readjust to face the bay Jeremiah and Obie’s table sits within.
Jeremiah takes Obie firmly by the hand, locking his fingers through hers as he helps her around the table to be able to see the scene displayed on his LAPTOP.
which isn't much of a stretch, as some of you
have probably seen me doing a role like that
on screen already.
MURING ripples wall to wall,
as people recognize him, or
explain who he is to neigh-
says some of you are her former students, or
teachers in the local school systems, or their
relatives. She's going to be reading the part
of Despina, who is supposed to be 26 years
old. I know that's a bit of a stretch, more
likely a digit reversal, but if you just close
your eyes and let your ears build the proper
picture, you'll discover that her voice is great
and your mind can take you there.
she's no actress. I believe her, but an actress
isn't what we need right now.
Obie pantomimes opening a door, surveying a room, filling in what she's seeing in a stream of consciousness rap.
Obie and Jeremiah present a scene that lasts about fifteen minutes, garnering applause and a crush of people to shake hands with them.
way, we'll be in the paper. I saw editors from
two local papers, one in Seymour and the one
here. We'd better pick up a scrapbook. Your
clipping service probably never heard of these
places, much less believe they have papers.
If we play our cards right, we might even
make the Des Moines Register.
even sure my clipping service has heard of
your performance. It was so precious. I'm so
thankful it coincided with my break time.
Obie and Pat hug warmly.
Jeremiah pulls Pat into his arms, hugging her tightly, then lightly busses Obie’s forehead, drapes an arm over her shoulder, and tucks her against his side, eyes shining.
Pat nods affirmatively.
Jeremiah glances at the clock.
- SECOND PATRON
fact, I'd be thrilled to -- every actor just
LOVES an appreciative audience, but we need
a country/western singer for the next part.
We've got the words up here on the laptop if
there are any takers. Marty Robbins's "Paso".
A bashful patron is pushed forward by public acclaim.
- LOCAL COUNTRY/WESTERN SINGER
for the guitar.
you take over.
Jeremiah looks over the crowd, now standing room only, a wide grin on his face.
ing. What's the capacity here?
- THIRD PATRON
can grant you a waiver.
While the sound system gets set up and eager beavers move their table out of the way, Obie and Jeremiah chat softly, hands locked.
me off and drive on home? I can give you a
call in the morning.
yet who wasn't silly over his fancy car. What
if a deer jumps out in front of me and totals
- (Sings, in a surprisingly
PERFORMANCE MONTAGE – LUDLOW’S STEAK HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
-Jeremiah and Obie read, hamming it up
-audience members take the various roles as needed
-Jeremiah and Obie read, drinking from bottled water while the other reads
-audience members share hilarity and good will
-Jeremiah and Obie read, an empty water bottle lined up in front of each of them, as they continue to sip from new ones
-Pat returns to the kitchen after her break
–Pat’s hand-held DVD camera switches hands until it runs out of tape
-Jeremiah and Obie read, five water bottles in front of them, until both pantomime that they are slightly hoarse
-several other cameras provide different angles
-someone pantomimes volunteering to collect footage from them all and collate it onto DVD's
-local lights-out is reached
1. Actually, his geography IS off. A narwhal's range is in the ARCTIC Ocean, not the Pacific Ocean.
Last updated 6/20/08 formatted dialog and parentheticals, matched with laptop version. 6/12/08; 6/22/07.
Word Count: 3437
Reading Level: 4.5