http://pandemo.livejournal.com/642702.html
FADE IN:
EXT. ISOLATED IOWA HORSE FARM - OBIE'S FRONT PORCH - SUNSET
O. B. HORSEFEATHERS (OBIE) sits alone on a bench as usual. She affectionately cuddles three unweaned kittens.
- OBIE
rived.
- OBIE (V. O.)
- OBIE
cats, you’ll discover you don’t want to
get wet.
-
(Addresses the various mother cats.)
dug under the skirting so they know
where to go.
-MS of a pink reflection of the clouds that glistens on the smooth surface of neighbor’s pond visible to the southeast below Obie’s hill.
-a DEER bounds swiftly through another neighbor’s hay field along the creek bed to the south.
-We end on a shot of a RABBIT as it hops through a low piece of the woven wire fence on the west side of Obie’s circle drive.
END MONTAGE
- OBIE (V. O.)
It's time you quit carrying them every-
where, anyway.
Obie inserts a used envelope as a bookmark into Robert Ruark's SOMETHING OF VALUE (or some other, equally weighty, tome). Her knees CREAK as she hoists herself up. She stretches the kinks out.
- OBIE
-
don't get old.
INT. OBIE'S MOBILE HOME - LIVING ROOM - BEDTIME
Obie enters the house, meticulously latches the screen door securely behind her, and carefully shuts the interior door.
- OBIE (V.O.)
gusty.
EXT. OBIE'S DRIVEWAY - Later
A low-slung Jag turns into the house driveway at emergency marker 920/1. It cautiously straddles the gully coming downhill to keep from dragging.
INT. OBIE'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
HEADLIGHTS flash in a semicircle on Obie’s wall as the car turns into the circle drive at the top of the hill where Obie’s house sits.
Obie HOPS up, RE-HOOKS her jeans, rejects the top she'd worn that day, JERKS on a man's oversized white t-shirt, and HEADS toward the front door.
- OBIE (V.O.)
this late with only the back light
showing? Seems as if a body would know
that's a sign of goin' beddy-bye.
INT. KITCHEN
Obie peeks out the kitchen window as she passes.
- OBIE
ford to drive a sleek little number
like that! If it stays here any length
of time, the neighborhood gossips will
have a field day deciding how it got
here, who owns it, and how they're re-
lated to ME.
EXT. OBIE'S DRIVEWAY
The car door SLAMS. A tall, well-dressed stranger, (JEREMIAH), confidently approaches the front porch and REACHES out to open the screen door .
INT. OBIE'S LIVING ROOM
Obie continues to the front door, switches on the porch light and puts her eyeball to the peephole.
- OBIE
not local.
INT. OBIE'S LIVING ROOM - DOORWAY
Obie YANKS the door open to find JEREMIAH holding the screen open just as he REACHES for the door knocker.
- OBIE
we can set on that bench there.
Obie stares level, eyeball to eyeball, with Jeremiah due to the added height advantage given by the doorway. She exudes menace.
- OBIE
Obie looks Jeremiah up and down thoroughly, as if he were a horse she plans to purchase, then steps down and circles around him.
EXT. OBIE’S PORCH - CONTINUOUS
Obie scowls throughout the inspection. She intimidates him completely.
- OBIE
Jeremiah exhibits signs of unease and embarrassment. He is very good looking and normally gets positive feedback from the women he deigns to talk to.
Jeremiah swallows uncomfortably, disconcerted.
- JEREMIAH
Throughout the rest of the conversation, both Obie and Jeremiah slap repeatedly at mosquitoes, apparently drawn by the PORCH LIGHT.
- OBIE
fied?
Jeremiah gestures helplessly.
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
attract attention. So, why're you all
flustered when you get it?
Jeremiah widens his eyes.
- JEREMIAH
Obie places her hands on her hips belligerently.
- OBIE
nounced, this late in the evening. As
a bona fide member of the good ol'
boys, you ought to know that.
- JEREMIAH
then his voice gains
confidence)
I should have gotten here around five
or six o’clock.
Obie eases her hostile manner a bit.
- OBIE
Obie studies Jeremiah's face intently.
- OBIE
vaguely familiar, but not in that get-
up.
- JEREMIAH
Obie eyes him shrewdly. She frowns.
- OBIE
ping. Lots of good horseflesh running
around here, though, show and endurance
stock, some breeding packages.
- JEREMIAH
Jeremiah still feels uncomfortable under her intense scrutiny, but his natural cockiness is beginning to return.
- JEREMIAH (CONTINUOUS)
Obie plunks herself down on the bench.
- OBIE
It's a little late to get the lay of
the land today, too.
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
and clear. My nephew gets it when I'm
gone.
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
Snoopy thing, aren't you?
Jeremiah shrugs noncommittally.
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
the best of us. It's not as if we plan
to date, or something.
Obie and Jeremiah examine each other for an uncomfortably long period of time. Finally, Obie raises her eyebrows.
- OBIE
plum out of sensible possibilities.
Jeremiah enchants her with his prize-winning grin.
OBIE describes it as a SOAS (SEX ON A STICK) grin in her thoughts in response to his thinness.
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
Far Saga.
Obie is obviously blown away, all trace of her former rancor gone.
- OBIE
Jeremiah tips his head toward Obie, eyes sparkling.
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
around, anyway.
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
I didn't consider the parts finished
until I'd shown, not told, so lots of
characters' facial expressions, the
main character's actual words and
quirky thoughts, lots of dialog, very
little scene-setting. The characters,
even minor ones, are pretty well
fleshed out, with individualized
voices.
You an agent?
- JEREMIAH
good ones, if you need one.
- OBIE
shopping it around.
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
nearly, or be read to.
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
ing? I'm not much into role-playing
games. I heard you could get rich
quick in RPG's if you got lucky. Is
that what you did?
- JEREMIAH
Obie eyeballs Jeremiah in shock.
- OBIE
that. First, you're a good four-five
inches too short, tall as you are.
This guy and his brother are pro bas-
ketball player tall. Then you're the
wrong race. He's Native American.
You're Caucasian. Your hair's dark enough,
but your eyes are brown flecked, not
blue.
- JEREMIAH
concealed/enhanced by camera angles.
- OBIE
can't they?
Obie examines his eyes intently, tipping his head so the light falls more fully on them.
- OBIE
an asset like those, I’d be careful of
covering them up. Besides, the book's
not finished. Nothing's ready to BE
PLAYED.
- JEREMIAH
So, what do you think is missing?
- OBIE
Jeremiah looks surprised. He flexes his muscles, revealing a build good enough not to be scoffed at.
Obie again circles his body, studying it intently. She stops opposite his face, one porch step up from him, fingering along his cheekbones with a feather-light touch.
- OBIE
facial structure, rounder.
Obie runs her fingertips down his ski-slope nose.
- OBIE
der skin -- you know, to BE Native
American.
Jeremiah frowns.
- OBIE
to foist off obviously White actors as
Native Americans, especially when we
have the real McCoy readily available.
Jeremiah opens his mouth to speak, but Obie runs on, oblivious.
- OBIE
the movie-going public to force them to
suspend their disbelief in such fix-
able, obviously WRONG ways.
- JEREMIAH
turns out NOT to be all Native Ameri-
can, nor even mostly Native American.
- OBIE
eyes, not like the descendant of a cap-
tive White, and lives in a land attuned
to the difference. One of the themes
deals with that prejudice. Using a
White actor is just not an option.
Jeremiah nods in acknowledgment as he slaps a mosquito.
- JEREMIAH
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
the ending. I don't remember feeling
that things were left out -- that there
was a huge gap that stretched my credi-
bility.
- OBIE
That's enough of this.
Obie CIRCLES back around Jeremiah, yawning hugely.
INT. OBIE’S HOUSE – DOORWAY - CONTINUOUS
Obie OPENS the storm door and quickly STEPS in. She pointedly does not invite Jeremiah inside. Instead she HOLDS the door open.
Jeremiah smiles engagingly as he holds out his hand.
- JEREMIAH
Obie ignores Jeremiah's outstretched hand.
- OBIE
pilot refuse to shake my hand through
the open doorway... Some sort of
sutishperous, spurshioutius, supersti-
tious bad luck mumbo-jumbo.
Obie gives a self-conscious shrug.
- OBIE
I’m fluent and well-spoken, with a su-
perb vocabulary. But sometimes, the
stuff scrambles itself around in my
head, and when it spills out, I can’t
get my tang untungled, and the twords
come out all wisted.
Obviously, it intensifies whenever I’m
nervous or upset.
Jeremiah pecks her impulsively on the cheek.
EXT. – OBIE’S PORCH - CONTINUOUS
Obie steps out and takes his hand firmly in hers, giving it a hearty shake and squeeze.
- OBIE (CONT'D)
Jeremiah flashes his quirky grin.
- JEREMIAH
I'm no cowboy, but even as citified as
I am, I know horses don't have feath-
ers.
Obie finally responds to his contagious SOAS grin with one of her own.
- OBIE
- JEREMIAH
It's quite high wattage and transforms
your entire face.
Shall we adjourn this discussion some-
where relaxing over supper? I prefer
my blood unsampled, even though you
have minuscule mosquitoes compared to
the mammoth dive-bombers we have in
Minnesota.
Jeremiah gallantly takes her arm to escort her down the plank walkway to his car.
Obie tugs unsuccessfully, but not very vigorously, to free herself.
- OBIE
Moines.
- JEREMIAH
hour and a half drive. Closer? I'm
hungrier than that. And a room for the
night?
EXT. OBIE’S DRIVEWAY - CONTINUOUS
Jeremiah opens the car door, hands her in with practiced ease, and locks her seat belt snugly around her.
INT. JEREMIAH’S CAR - CONTINUOUS
Obie looks bemused at the belt. She tests its tightness.
- OBIE
wanted to slum.
Obie directs Jeremiah to Ludlow's Steak House in Corydon, a mere seventeen miles one way, and also home to the closest motel.
Obie studies Jeremiah's profile intently as they travel.
- OBIE
persona. Pearls Thrown Before Swine.
Donato. Cute in a Speedo. Nice dim-
ples, cheek AND chin. Under the palm
tree sex scene, fronds waving back and
forth, artistically hiding bits of the
action, sort of... Hot, hot, hot!
Obie blushes.
Jeremiah glances over and notes the darkening of her face by the dashboard lights.
- JEREMIAH (CONTINUOUS)
even; every action carefully faked.
Jeremiah reaches over and pats Obie's tense hand as it grips the armrest.
- JEREMIAH
Jeremiah’s face lights with another devilish grin. He turns back to the empty road.
- JEREMIAH
Last updated 12/10/09 Removed duplicate a stranger (JEREMIAH) from the action statements; Changed she to Obie in action statement; added OBIE describes it as a SOAS (SEX ON A STICK) grin in her thoughts in response to his thinness.
- OBIE
; changed White to Caucasian Added , and lives in a land attuned to the difference. One of the themes deals with that prejudice. Using a White actor is just not an option. Added contagious SOAS grin; 6/20/08 - Being cats, you’ll discover you don’t want to get wet. (6/19/08 - Obie studies Jeremiah's profile intently as they travel. 12/31/07. All fully scripted, choreographed, even; every action carefully faked. Added every action. 12/25/07, added red corrections from printed pages run 10/11/07. 12/11/07, ice day. Added action statements bottom page 11 on. Modem went out around 7:30 with electricity. Converted Act I, Scene I to Pages script format on Mac Pro Laptop. 6/9/07 -Finished format update, correcting action statements, OB to OBIE, and some slight rewordings. 6/3/07 - Changed shucks into to tosses on after checking shuck in dic.) Updated actions vs. ways of saying things, redid first speech 10/7.
Word Count: 2194
Readability: 5.3)