Like, a 4"x4"x2" with a little wick sticking up in the center...
Why, you write your aunt a THANK YOU NOTE:
I'm certainly not a very prompt THANK YOU writer... I can't believe it's been a month...
I've found the perfect place for your perfect gift -- in the teacher's workroom, on the table where the secretaries and a few of us female teachers take refuge from the noise of the cafeteria and dine in blessed quietude. I stuck it in there first thing in the morning...
Right on that table, right on top of TWO, count them, one, two, catalogs that feature fancy scented CHRISTMAS candles. (The first day, I said, "SURE GLAD my aunt's BIDTHDAY candle isn't one of those fancy scented ones. Oh, maybe if we lit it, it might be. I think it must be something extra special for turning 60!" and smiled benignly at everyone. DEAD SILENCE. Oh, would you have LOVED to be a little mouse in the corner that first day... Nobody, but NOBODY, took me up on my suggestion.)
One newcomer studied it for a bit. Her face looked perplexed. "What is THAT supposed to be?"
"It's a candle."
"Well, it is SUPPOSED to be some road apples, but my aunt couldn't find anything for horses, so she tried for some buffalo chips, then finally, in desperation, switched to a cow pie."
Hope you don't mind the ad lib... It sure got a tremendous WHOOSH of laughter.
Today, when I came down, it had been moved to a shelf, and replaced with a large pizza box. Handy excuse not to gaze at that as you commune with your lunch, no?
Thanks bunches and heaps. Wish I'd been able to be down there right at 12 to catch the first comer's reactions!