pandemo (pandemo) wrote,

Things To Remember During Street Parades:

I feel a list coming on.

1) Put the horses BEHIND the bands.

2) Road Apples, when fresh, add aroma to the area.

3) Horses tend to bolt when flags flap over their head in the breeze during pauses.

4) If a horse carrying a flag is to be dragged the length of Main Street, it should be the state flag or a club banner, NOT the American flag.

5) Just because a mount will ride down a highway dotted with white vertical lines does NOT mean he will step calmly across horizontal crosswalk lines.

6) Stepping on yellow painted words might seem more perilous than walking beside white dotted lines to a horse.

7) Nervous horses poop.

8) Fireworks overhead are NOT the same as fire crackers underfoot to a horse.

9) Clowns throwing candy to the crowd's children are more enjoyable than clowns pelting a horse's rear with candy.

10) Totally surrounded horses who bolt will head over the top of the SMALLER, less THREATENING obstacles, even though they normally don't like to step on people, who are squishy footing at best.

11.) Semi's horns sound more threatening when the interval separating them from the horse is less
than 10 feet.

12. Just because police/ambulance sirens don't bother a horse in pasture or on a trail ride is no guarantee that they will tolerate the same noise immediately behind them.

13. Horses who have been fed ice cream bars will remove them from hands near their noses, should the opportunity present itself.

14. Full horse diapers LEAK, the same as a baby's would.

15. Carrying a transistor radio at full volume in the rider's pocket on a trail ride is NOT the same as preceding a marching band with flapping banner on Main Street lined with crowds of flag wavers.

16. Horses at a trot hit in the belly by heavy silver serapes may hump up, then do a relatively unsettling buck, especially if a flag flips over their face in the process.

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