November 21st, 2007


Full Moon Week?

Best week ever for detentions... One eighth grader for repeated hitting on Monday; Tuesday - In one day - 8 eighth grade boys... Noises/spit wad contest; ONE high schooler, arguing instead of working, even past the “don’t be the next one...” warning... Wed. Second HS boy in the SAME CLASS (slow learners???) not following directions, arguing; coach popped his head in and said if it were HIM, he’d have one more by now... Kid exiled himself to the office and led the principal on a merry romp. Coach was outside the door the whole time as he is resource person for a kid we THOUGHT would blow up when I introduced the new, more stringent rules. That kid never made a peep. I’m hoping coach gives the principal an earful.

I loved it. Coach told bigmouth boy, “Why do you give every teacher all day long an argument instead of doing your work? If you showed half this much fire during football... we'd have a winning season and you wouldn't be a bench-warmer.”

Instead, he failed so many classes he got booted off the team.

After Coach left, the other boys said, “I can’t believe he talked back to Coach like that,” “He’ll be a bench-warmer all year for sure next year.” etc. Their take on the situation was pretty funny.

We rehashed it with one student who is also in 8th hour Spanish (the kid who got a detention yesterday) and he was cool about it. I told him I accidentally messed up my lunch duty by getting mixed up and typing notices to the parents for the involved students during lunch, thinking it was my prep period, which follows 6th hour, the class on a shortened day that is followed by lunch.

The principal was standing right outside my door when I came out. I looked at who was coming up the stairs in surprise, then said, “I typed parent notes all through lunch thinking it was my prep.”

He said, “They were outside throwing mud in each other’s hair. I just told them to get over it, it would dry.”

I THINK he was kidding... At least, he saw I wasn’t doing it on purpose.

Marriage Counselor

The other students barely tolerate the kid who argues perpetually. In the middle of interrupting yet another day's directions, one of the other students muttered, "You two ought to be married, the way you go at it every day."

I had a horrid time trying to keep a straight face.

Exporting "Illegals"

An impressive number of "aliens" have been trying to slip illegally into my in-box. To combat this epidemic, I am deputizing all of you to serve your country as Homeland Security Agents.

When you see "coyotes", (papers wearing "unshaved", "unsightly", "dangerous" fringe on the left side,) remove him/her carefully -- he/she may be escorting an illegal alien attached to his/her back.

Illegals lack paperwork to enter legally. Check their upper right hand corner. If that "pocket" of their coat is empty, (missing name, class, hour or date) you are in the presence of an illegal alien. Escort him/her to the red folder at once to await "deportation".

Next, check their passports for a work visa. A legal paper will have a job reference on the title line, (assignment) complete with the prospective employer's job (page) number. Each alien must be invited to enter by a registered, reputable employer waiting to give him/her a pay check (grade) and health insurance benefits (spelling, usage, capitalization, punctuation aid as needed on an individual basis).

Once semester grades are on the cards and in the student's hands, the illegals will be permanently deported (dumped in the trash).

If you are missing a relative, you may pay his/her bail by removing him/her from the folder and re-applying with proper id papers for legal entry. Time is of the essence.