December 24th, 2006


He Who Laughs Knows What a Wassail Is

(Probably overheard at a big fund-raising bash:)

But have you ever tried to spear a buffalo after a hard night at the old wassail bowl?
-- Gore Vidal, The Smithsonian Institution

Office Parties got you down? Well, for those of you not adept yet at JUST SAY NO, you can avoid the negative effects of the atmosphere if you at least don't swallow what you imbibe. Just paste a polite smile on your lips and back over to the nearest plant, then fake a cough as you water it liberally. Even if you're captured under the mistletoe for something rather more invasive than a peck on the cheek, your breath won't mark you as a teetotaler.

(Or is that supposed to be just don't inhale what you smoke?)