November 17th, 2005


Head Shrinking

One of my really bright students went off to the psychologist the other day and spent his afternoon playing head games with him. At the end of the testing, the man told him 1) he is really bright (I could have told him THAT for free!) and 2) he is dyslexic.

I told him, so was I... There is life after dyslexia... Intelligent life!

He laughed and added that the only other interesting thing the man had said was that most dyslexic children (he's 17 and HUGE, so calling him a "child" is really odd) have parents who are left handed. Both of his were.

I told him neither of mine were, but my brother is... We laughed again.

Weight in Gasoline

Once, I heard Kansas described as "flat as a pancake", then the literal truth: If a pancake were blown up to the scale of Kansas, it would have huge jagged peaks and valleys far more ungainly than any earthly mountain range...

As I was passing the local Casey's store, where the price of gas had again dropped by two cents, maintaining its position as the lowest priced gas in the area, I considered what having your weight yo-yo on you with the range and rapidity of the recent gas prices.

(Right. I'd weighed in at school, and was lower than last June's weigh-in at the doctor's, by about 10 pounds... so I'm hoping it is not ALL just the difference between the two scales.)

Back to the analogy. Your skin would stretch to accommodate your 300 # plus grossness, then less than two months later, you'd be having surgical tucks taken to remove the excess flabby skin now flopping around all empty on your body... About the time those scars heal, will we again inflate??? Gas has the same rapid escalation as weight added unnecessarily over holidays and periods of depression, and the same dreary dribble back downward to reasonableness...

We need a huge inflatable Uncle Sam Gas, full of hot air, -- the GAS MAN, plumping up/trimming down in relationship to the national gas price average... A ludicrous sight we could all relate to.