|Thursday, July 3rd, 2003|
8:29a - Off On Tangents
Wherever I happen to be when something I feel like writing about comes up, off I go, resulting in another misplaced piece, this time, in epi_lj's journal, confusing him totally.
Next week, I go to Omaha, Nebraska, in a school car for a one day seminar with one overnight. Well and good, as that is about five hours one way. But the second part of the training moves a bit further away, to Marshall, Minnesota, for a two day seminar. Again, the school will pick up the cost of an overnight and the registration fees, but being able to drive there before a meeting, attend the meeting, stay overnight, attend more meetings, then drive home is NOT an option.
Last night, a former truck driver who did "long haul over the road" got out his trusty maps/atlas, which fill a brief case, and announced the two day seminar was a "fur piece" from me, gestimating ten hours or so travel time (assuming I could keep a truck driver's pace going that long at one sitting...which at my age, is NOT assured any more, although I could do it at one time, and did, frequently).
When we got to toting up mileage on the most probable routes, it came out almost 500 miles one way! I'm sure that the offer assumed that any place in Minnesota was close enough to my sister in Rochester that a family visit would ensue, but the two are nearly 300 miles apart. I can't even go to Rochester (six hour drive one way, stay the night, drive on to the conference, and return the next day. Only the part of the route "north" is useful, as opposed, say, to her living in Illinois, with NONE of the distance in the right direction.
Duh, I should do a computer based "trip" and be sure. Well, 8 hours and 424 miles.
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8:05p - Country Life Lessons
Don't name a pig you plan to eat.
Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong.
Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
Mortgaging a future crop is like saddling a wobbly colt.
A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.
Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
Meanness don't happen overnight.
To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.
Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful.
Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.
Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.
Two can live as cheap as one if one don't eat.
Don't corner something meaner than you.
You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies.
Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.
You can't unsay a cruel thing.
Every path has some puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.
Lazy and Quarrelsome are ugly sisters.
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