June 15th, 2003


East Is East "Buttons and Bows" -- Ray Evans - Jay Livingston (First four lines used in "East Is Eas


Well, I finally found the entire lyrics to the RIGHT song (there's a more famous quote I almost went for...) but as it turns out, if I use more than the first quatrain, the meaning is the opposite of what fits in my story... Sigh... So I guess I'll post the entire song in the ever bulging appendix, and just quote the part that fits on the acutal page. The whole song was longer than the entry, anyway, which looks sort of funny.

I need to ask Mom who sang this. (She did, off key, but with great gusto, but I meant someone more famous! Her singing ability falls more in the "infamous" category. Unfortuantely, I seem to have inherited it from her.)

East Is East
"Buttons and Bows"

East is east
And west is west
And the wrong one
I have chose
Let's go where
I'll keep on wearin'
Those frills and flowers
And buttons and bows
Rings and things
And buttons and bows

Don't bury me
In this prairie
Take me where
The cement grows
Let's move down
To some big town
Where they love a gal
By the cut o' her clothes
And I'll stand out
In buttons and bows

I'll love you in buckskin
Or skirts that I've homespun
But I'll love ya' longer, stronger where
Yer friends don't tote a gun
My bones denounce
The buckboard bounce
And the cactus hurts my toes
Let's vamoose where gals keep usin'
Those silks and satin
And linen that shows
And I'm all yours
In buttons and bows

Gimme eastern trimmin'
Where women are women
In high silk hose
And peek-a-boo clothes
And French perfume
That rocks the room
And I'm all yours
In buttons and bows

    -- Ray Evans - Jay Livingston

East Is East (A Ballad from the British Occupation of India, I Think)


Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet,
Till Earth and Sky stand presently at God's great Judgment Seat;
But there is neither East nor West, Border, nor Breed, nor Birth,
When two strong men stand face to face, tho' they come from the ends of the earth!

Link to the full ballad:
(About the fate a horse thief meets, and wondrous strange it is!)


To All My Brilliant Friends

Brain Cramps

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed
to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not
live forever,"

-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.


"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I
mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey


"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"

--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."

-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do

-- A congressional candidate in Texas.

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers
of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."

-- John Wayne

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

-- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that
are doing it."

-- Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

-- Dan Quayle

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."

-- George Bush, US President

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: Just how much clean air do we really need?"

-- Lee Iacocca

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in
furthering that version."

-- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

-- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

-- Bill Clinton, President

````````````````` `
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

-- Al Gore, VP

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

-- Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed
away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

-- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will
monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll
be a record."

-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman


....Feeling smarter yet?