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Thursday, June 5th, 2003
11:37p - The Style Invitational Week 508: Letter Rip


Report from Week 504, where you were invited to come up with schmaltzy last lines appropriate to Style's "Life Is Short" Sunday feature.

Fifth Runner-Up: But she looked at me and said, "It's okay, Mommy, my fish is in Heaven with Grandpa." (Bob Dalton, Arlington)

Fourth Runner-Up: And I reflected on how "Torah" and "Koran" are spelled, realizing that the two religions differ not one bit in the middle, only at the fringes. (Leonard Greenberg, Sterling)

Third Runner-Up: Now I know that a Full House beats anything. (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

Second Runner-Up: "Father," I decided, means more than just combining "fat" and "her." (Patrick Sheehan, Wheaton)

First Runner-Up: As a quadriplegic, maybe I can't clap my hands or stamp my feet, but I'm happy and I know it, and I can shout "Hurray!" (Beth Baniszewski, Cambridge, Mass.)

And the winner of the book and calendar of celebrity gravestones:And then it came to me that today is nothing more than tomorrow's yesterday, and I was no longer afraid. (David Ronka, Charlottesville)

Honorable Mentions:

Sometimes the cook needs the chicken soup the most.

(Joseph Romm, Washington)

If there are two sides to every equation, then I am the equal sign. (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

And I realized, at last, that it's time for a nice long swim in Lake Me.

(Kelly Hyson, Wheaton)

And that is why I measure my life not in years, but in smiles.

(Brian Barrett, Bethesda)

By then, it hardly seemed to matter. (Dan Rosen, Washington)

I decided to give each and every one of my Beanie Babies a hug, even the ones that have lost 90 percent of their value. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

Crying is sighing squared.

(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

A crack in your Dale Earnhardt collector's plate affects the value only if you plan to sell it. Ever.

(Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

Saying goodbye can be just as beautiful as saying hello.

(Leigh Schneider, Weston Act, Australia)

And now I know why "diapers" is an anagram of "despair."

(Chris Doyle, Forsyth, Mo.)

What followed was an unearthly silence, like when a tree falls and there is no one to hear it, except this time it was I who wasn't there.

(Joel Knanishu, Rock Island, Ill.)

Because light reflecting off a gin bottle will never match the sparkle in a baby's eyes. (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)

You see, little Josh had painted the dog as a birthday gift to me.

(Jeff Brechlin, Potomac Falls)

Fatherhood is a man's job.

(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Now the only thing that comes between me and my spouse is a hyphen. (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

Next time around, I will be that swan. (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

Because when you look out a window, you never know who is looking back in at you. (Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station)

And I realized I had known it all along. (Dan Rosen, Washington)

As that little girl looked at me across the room, I wished I'd had a hundred kidneys. (J.D. Berry, Springfield)

After all, the White House isn't just white. It's also a house.

(Beth Baniszewski, Cambridge, Mass.)

When I laughed at death, it just sat there, like it didn't get my little joke. (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

I knew then that the space bar is no place to meet someone.

(Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

Sure, my wife is pregnant. But I am pregnant, too, with love and concern for her. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

I look forward to God's explanation. (Paul Kraft, Bethesda)

Tears, after all, water the soul.

(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Happiness lies somewhere in the middle, between zero and infinity. (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)



New Week: Squanderlust

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