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Saturday, March 30th, 2002
5:48p - Garfield Joke about Vegetables


"That brownie has green mold growing on it."
(Pops it in his mouth.)
"That qualifies it as a green vegetable."

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6:25p - Garfield Joke about Making Fun of Others


(Cocky Garfield, struttin' his stuff, one finger up, wagging, tail jaunty.)
"I'm going to make fun of dogs"
(Empty frame.)
(Bedraggled Garfield, ears drooping, head hanging, tail between legs)
"Maybe I'll go home and make fun of dogs over the internet."

Next day:

HUGE dog in hot pursuit, new red and yellow shoes on his feet, Garfield looking back at him, grinning, "You can't catch me."
Dog not left in dirt -- looming menacingly over Garfield, whose eyes are wide with fear, "Uh, are those new running shoes?"
Owner and Garfield in the house, at the table. "What happened to your tail?" "It's a victim of new innovations in athletic footwear."

Next day:

Garfield posts a sign, "BEWARE of the VICIOUS DOG."
Second sign, Garfield standing smugly in front of it, "The really HUGE, violence-prone TEETH-gnashing DOG"
Third day, Garfield's eyes are huge as he takes in the now-chained DOG, apparently aged, wrinkled, apparently toothless, clutching his heart, a wreck of his former self, "You okay?" "I can't stand the pressure."

Next day:

Garfield, still in front of the chained dog, It beared HUGE teeth at Garfield. "Check out these SHARP TEETH." "Whoa!" Garfield, standing just out of range, leans backward.
The dog leans backward, looking meek. Garfield leans forward, one HUGE claw bared. "How about these claws?" "Ooo."
Both pan to camera, dog's ears up, eyes partly closed, grin on his face, Garfield the same, Cheshire cat grin to go with it..."We've decided to gang up on the mailman."

Next day:

Garfield has posted new signs:
Walking past: Beware of Dog
Looking at it wide-eyed: Who am I kidding? The thing's a disgrace.
Walking past, identical expression to first drawing: Please do not kick the dog.
"This is almost sad."

Next day:

Garfeld, walking the opposite direction past a new sign, eyes bugged out: Beware of gophers
Smiling, stops, pointing to the sign: Beware of gophers
Eyes wide, hand pointing now up in surprise, sign the same, but piles of dirt surround him, and brown "gopher paws" from several holes are grabbing his legs.

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